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Thread: The Official Jokes Thread.

  1. #971
    Senior Member
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    Apr 2016
    Near Berlin
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    A Question for you.

    does a blind person have to recover the poop from their guide dog!
    Grumpy Old Git
    “When a government is dependent upon bankers for money, they and not the leaders of the government control the situation, since the hand that gives is above the hand that takes. Money has no motherland; financiers are without patriotism and without decency; their sole object is gain.”
    Napoléon Bonaparte

    2003 (botox) S type 3.0 sport with manual gearbox, as rare as rocking horse apples

  2. Likes Jag-Black liked this post
  3. #972
    Senior Member Jim_S-V6_2004's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
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    Remember the cockerel pretending to be dead but waiting for the vultures?


  4. #973
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    Aug 2016
    Cambridgeshire UK.
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    I went to the opticians today.

    He asked if I was suffering any sight impairment.

    I sad I couldn't see very far.

    He took me outside, pointed in the sky ans said "what's that?"

    "It's the sun" I said

    He said, "the sun is 92 million miles away, how far do you want to see?"

  5. #974
    Senior Member Davidsw's Avatar
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    Feb 2014
    Cornwall UK
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    A school inspector was visiting a rural school and rather than ask boring maths questions she asked a young lad to look out of the window .She asked him how many sheep could he see .He replied
    "All of 'em "
    Jaguar XKR x150 Cabriolet 2010

  6. #975
    Senior Member Henry_B's Avatar
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    Oct 2016
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    I've just applied for a job for Citroen.
    I had to send them 2Cvs #

    MY 2005 jaguar S type SE Radiance Red 3.0 "Tweaked"
    MY 2001 Range Rover P38 4.6 Vogue Monte Carlo Blue LPG
    MY 2000 Land Rover Discovery 2 TD5

    “Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”

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