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Thread: It could only happen to me.............

  1. #1
    Senior Member frankc's Avatar
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    It could only happen to me.............

    On another forum, Detailing World, we were asked if we had any stories etc. I dug this true episode from my past and I thought you guys might get a smile or laugh out of it, at my expense of course. Will shut up and paste the story below.

    ......Not really related to car washing of sorts................

    Overalls on. Wellies on, because I intended to wash the car later. Trousers tucked in wellingtons. The car up on ramps because I wanted to give the front edge underneath a look at then clean.

    Whilst it was up in the air I decided to lay on my back under the car to look at something. A lot of poking around I got very dirty oily hands and after an itchy noise my face had a nice streak of oil on it too. Went into my overall pockets to get a bit of paper towel I knew I had in there. I found a toffee sweet. Could not resist it. So with great skill I unwrapped the very sticky toffee without actually touching the sweet itself and popped it into my mouth. All went well till the sweet stuck my teeth together and I could feel it had stuck down on my new, expensive, crown filling. Sugar! Or words to that effect.

    So I could not stick my finger in my mouth, very dirty, so I needed to get into the house quick to wash my hands etc. I eventually extracted myself from under the car, after first banging my head disturbing the dirt above for it to fall into my eyes. Eyes started to water and by now my now stuck together mouth seemed to be producing a silly amount of fluid. I did wipe it with the back of my sleeve but I continued to drool and covered my face with a oily streaky mess.

    Standing up I realized my keys were in my trouser pocket beneath the overalls. Reaching in I pulled out the keys from the pocket lost grip on them and they fell into the insides of the overalls and down the side of the wellington. So I reached in, bending over to one side. Caught the key ring on my trousers. Trying to unhook them as I limped drooling and bent towards the door when the delivery lady appeared around the corner..,.

    She took a look at the bent to one side, Quasimodo style monster, limping towards her. Face streaked in oil. Eyes barley open. Teeth clamped together. Drooling badly. She gave a little scream, turned and hurried away. Cant say I blame her.....

    So my worst car washing product? A sticky toffee.......

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ _

    Any of you guys done anything as daft as that?..................
    2003 Zircon Blue XKR Convertible.
    It's in the detail.
    [SIZE=4]

    For a list of most topics written in this 'Story' Please click here.

    Cannot see any photos? PHOTOBUCKET FIX please CLICK HERE FOR SOLUTION

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  3. #2
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    Why did you not post this in Franks Story? After all it is a "Frank's Story" Id like to show friends and it would be easier to find if you kept it all together?

    Thanks

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    Senior Member frankc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumjane View Post
    Why did you not post this in Franks Story? After all it is a "Frank's Story" Id like to show friends and it would be easier to find if you kept it all together?

    Thanks
    As per your request I have put this little recollection up on "Franks Story" though I have to confess it feels a bit odd repeating it. As you say though perhaps someone in the future browsing through "Franks Story" may find it amusing.
    2003 Zircon Blue XKR Convertible.
    It's in the detail.
    [SIZE=4]

    For a list of most topics written in this 'Story' Please click here.

    Cannot see any photos? PHOTOBUCKET FIX please CLICK HERE FOR SOLUTION

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    Thank you for the laugh,Frank!



    Perhaps a mental note to yourself;

    'Must not keep sticky toffee sweeties in overall pocket,' may help....
    2000 S Type manual(now sold and replaced with a Transit Connect!) BMW E30 cabbie in the very rare neon green colour and a Nissan Micra for 'er indoors!

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    Senior Member Corbeliere's Avatar
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    My daftest event was probably when I got a propshaft made for my V8 Mk3 Cortina. I was so keen to get it fitted that I lay in a gutter with the car half on the pavement in the pouring rain. I was soaked, but utterly thrilled to be able to drive the car. The joys of youth I guess.
    Train hard, fight easy.

    Black on Ivory 5.0 Stratstone 'Le Mans' special edition XFR.

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    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    Toffees, I have had to give them up.
    There I was, enjoying one of Mr Werthers finest toffees but there was a hard lump in it. On examination the hard lump was half a tooth, so to my dentist i goes. Many £'s later he had done the repairs (and a damn good job he made of it) and off I goes.
    A year later I couldn't resist oneof Mr Werthers finest that was offered to me, and guess what........................yes, same b loody tooth. The dentist nearly laughed me out of the surgery, but not before he'd extracted what was left of the aforementioned tooth.
    So I don't eat toffees now.
    A very cynical grumpy old man
    Late 2004 2.7D auto
    Connoisseur of Fine Ales
    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - What a ride, where are the wimmin?"

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    Senior Member frankc's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Corbeliere View Post
    My daftest event was probably when I got a propshaft made for my V8 Mk3 Cortina. I was so keen to get it fitted that I lay in a gutter with the car half on the pavement in the pouring rain. I was soaked, but utterly thrilled to be able to drive the car. The joys of youth I guess.
    I think we have all been-there-done-that. I had a Hillman Imp. The headgasket was forever blowing, found out the simple cause years later, the upshot of which I must have had the engine out 3 or 4 times and it always seemed to be raining when I did it! The luxury of youth. Could not, and dont want, to do that now.

    Another daft thing I have done, previously mentioned on the forum, was try and colour-tune the carb. Basically its a replacement clear core spark plug. You remove a normal spark plug. Put the Colourtune one in its place. You run the engine and look at the clear insulated core. Depending on the colour the engine is running rich or lean. Sounds easy? So I replaced the plug. Ran the engine. Could hardly see the Colourtune plug due to the bright sunlight. Without thinking I decided to put my hand around the plug to shelter it from the bright light................... Next thing I knew I was on my back some feet away. If I remember right something like between 40-100,000 volts go through a spark plug. This time that voltage went through me........... I didn't do that again.

    Opps! Sorry MJ. Will post this on Franks Story too!
    2003 Zircon Blue XKR Convertible.
    It's in the detail.
    [SIZE=4]

    For a list of most topics written in this 'Story' Please click here.

    Cannot see any photos? PHOTOBUCKET FIX please CLICK HERE FOR SOLUTION

  14. #8
    Senior Member S-Type Owner's Avatar
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    "Colourtune" spark plugs... I have thought of those for decades! That takes me back to the days of Uni-syns, twin SU carbs and fuel pumps that need periodic rapping with a spanner to work... lol.
    Last edited by S-Type Owner; 08-03-19 at 16:00.
    2003 S-Type 3.0, Zircon with the "Premium Package"...

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  16. #9
    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    'rapping with a spanner' ? In the UK it's more a case of 'hit em with a hammer' ..........and if that doesn't work the solution is simple................use a bigger hammer.
    A very cynical grumpy old man
    Late 2004 2.7D auto
    Connoisseur of Fine Ales
    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming - What a ride, where are the wimmin?"

  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    'rapping with a spanner' ? In the UK it's more a case of 'hit em with a hammer' ..........and if that doesn't work the solution is simple................use a bigger hammer.
    And if the bigger Birmingham spanner fails to work,you get your 'er indoors to swear at it!

    2000 S Type manual(now sold and replaced with a Transit Connect!) BMW E30 cabbie in the very rare neon green colour and a Nissan Micra for 'er indoors!

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