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Thread: take it to the breaker

  1. #191
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    It's been an interesting and exciting week this week.

    All started when I was arrested on Saturday without having changed my socks from the previous days decorating having crashed on the sofa.

    After a while the police man gave my converse back and didn't mention why.

    Anyhow I was accused of telling an infant to f-off and raising my fist to him. Two people allegedly saw this, but didn't see another neighbour I was talking to, so I got a taxi home at midnight, no solicitor. No charges.

    Carried on with the decorating on Sunday with the pedo lynch mob outside.

    Monday morning was arrested again. The coppers this time were really respectful and professional, unlike the agitated youngsters who turned up on Saturday.

    I found out the charges were that I had threatened to chop peoples heads off with an Axe. I wondered why the Police had taken it as evidence.

    Once again, a crock of poop that resulted in no charges, no solicitors in sight. Turns out the Police are as amused as anyone else that they have to respond to every claim. That's why they're so busy.

    These people have been getting in my face with noise and rubbish for years, but because I tell the police they don't scare me, then what am I complaining about? Oh, I see.

    I sent all the vids to the Police and today they were all arrested and it's very quiet and lovely in the neighbourhood on this lovely sunny day.

    I'm having a beer or two tonight.

    edit: already.

  2. #192
    Senior Member mac_doctor's Avatar
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    Try to stay out of the nick until I have met you on the 5th September.

    After that what you do is your business.

  3. #193
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mac_doctor View Post
    Try to stay out of the nick until I have met you on the 5th September.

    After that what you do is your business.
    I never get nicked. We all have a bit of fun with it nowadays.

    I'm so excited to see you and everyone on the 5th.

    I'm off to book my ticket. My son is coming too. I will get him to flop his arm out the window when we're cruising the posse to the in gate.

  4. #194
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    So this weekend I turned it round and had a handful of my neighbours arrested, each with their own stack of evidence against them.

    Beautiful and quiet round here today, and I might get the chance to string a load of chavs out to dry in the near future.

    Much better weekend this one.

  5. #195
    Senior Member stewartw's Avatar
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    My curiosity has the better of me.
    What charges have been raised against these miscreants?
    And, of course, I'll readily accept an answer of MYOB.
    The world is my prawn!
    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.
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  6. #196
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stewartw View Post
    My curiosity has the better of me.
    What charges have been raised against these miscreants?
    And, of course, I'll readily accept an answer of MYOB.
    I haven't got the report yet. The short story.

    You need to get rid of your rubbish piles.

    You have evil intentions with children and our mates have pitch forks.

  7. #197
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    Pitch forks?

    I knows all abart pitch forks.

    We country bumkins use them thare pitch forks to roast turkey legs on the BBQ.
    2000 S Type manual(now sold and replaced with a Transit Connect that ate it's engine in Spain and replaced with another Connect known as the Micro Stealth Camper) BMW E30 cabbie in the very rare neon green colour and a Nissan Micra for 'er indoors!

  8. Likes Jag-Black liked this post
  9. #198
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    Well aycan kep air ****** picrh forrks to unsefves then.

  10. #199
    Senior Member stewartw's Avatar
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    Here's our chap with his variant of the pitch fork, burning the prunings, early one year.

    Click image for larger version. 

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    The world is my prawn!
    Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo.
    Workhorse: "Ounce" - White Jag X-Type Estate 2.2D 2009 Executive auto.
    Fun: "La Gata Negra" - All black (Haria) Pug RCZ 2.0 HDI 2014 Swiss spec fully loaded.
    Runabout: "Purple People Eater" - Purple Pug 108 1.2 PureTech 2016 Top fully loaded.
    Sack shifter: "Animal" - Dirty Linhai 300 4x4 ATV 2007.

  11. #200
    Senior Member Jag-Black's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stewartw View Post
    Here's our chap with his variant of the pitch fork, burning the prunings, early one year.
    I'd call that a mucking out fork?

    The pitch fork I've used have two prongs, long shaft, no handle so to haunch a bale upto 12 feet in the air for stacking.

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