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Thread: Cheapskate?

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    Senior Member frankc's Avatar
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    Cheapskate?

    I think I am about to loose a 'friend'.

    Basically the guy is in and out of jobs. He manages to get the job. Gets paid a LOT of money. After 6 months or so starts to loose interest. Gets fired. He sues them gets a bunch of money on the its better, cheaper and quicker to pay him off rather than take it through court. Then the whole process starts again. He has had at least 12 high paid jobs since I have known him and has a great life style. That's his background.

    Last year I got him a trailer that goes on the back of his sit on mower so he can collect logs from around his farm. Not a 'farm' in the true sense of the word but it has a big farm house and plenty of land etc. Good for him.

    So what did he get me last year? A door mat, kid you not. This is the type of gift they give. I know its better to give than receive but I really feel I just get cast off rather than thoughtful presents. Even a bar of Toblerone would do!

    This year I got them stuff from a well known and not cheap handmade chocolate company. Good quality. But kept the spend to less than a hundred for both of them on principle. What did I get? A bar of cast iron coat hooks, going rusty already. I think she got them for the farm but decided they look too cheap for their place.

    She rang me. I thought to wish me a Merry Christmas, thanks for the gift etc. Nope quite quickly she got around to ask me if I had forgotten their Christmas presi? Well I did hand them their gift personally. "Is that for both of us?". Talk about having to bite my tongue. I really had to restrain myself as it was Christmas etc. If I had said anything back I would really have let go. Even had the nerve to call me 'cheapskate'. I said nothing she talked for 10 mins and eventually put the phone down on me. She was angry with me.

    I have known them for some 12 years or so. Always been good company. But I am so peeved I have resolved NEVER to buy them anything again and to be honest the way I feel now I never want to see or speak to them again.

    Am I being too touchy? Never thought of myself as being cheapskate.
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    Senior Member payno's Avatar
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    I would hand them back there present and tell them you feel they would be better off donating it to the old iron man
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    Senior Member Corbeliere's Avatar
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    If it were me Frankc, that would be the last time I either spoke to them or had anything to do with them. I know I'm hard hearted and I have never ever forgiven anyone for crossing me, neither will I change. It's them with the problem and not you. Like the saying goes, you can choose your friends. Good luck whatever!
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    Senior Member Jimbov8's Avatar
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    Frank, you’re a better man than me. She would have had both barrels to start with and then her other half would’ve gotten a canon, if he’d dared show his face.

    You’re far better off without people like that in your life.
    Jim.
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    I do not offer advice, I only say what I would do with the set of circumstances presented. Your choice always.

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    Senior Member Winchester12g's Avatar
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    Wow!

    I'd say the line has been well & truly crossed.........time to let go and put the friendship behind you.

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    Senior Member Zero123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frankc View Post
    I think I am about to loose a 'friend'.

    Basically the guy is in and out of jobs. He manages to get the job. Gets paid a LOT of money. After 6 months or so starts to loose interest. Gets fired. He sues them gets a bunch of money on the its better, cheaper and quicker to pay him off rather than take it through court. Then the whole process starts again. He has had at least 12 high paid jobs since I have known him and has a great life style. That's his background.

    Last year I got him a trailer that goes on the back of his sit on mower so he can collect logs from around his farm. Not a 'farm' in the true sense of the word but it has a big farm house and plenty of land etc. Good for him.

    So what did he get me last year? A door mat, kid you not. This is the type of gift they give. I know its better to give than receive but I really feel I just get cast off rather than thoughtful presents. Even a bar of Toblerone would do!

    This year I got them stuff from a well known and not cheap handmade chocolate company. Good quality. But kept the spend to less than a hundred for both of them on principle. What did I get? A bar of cast iron coat hooks, going rusty already. I think she got them for the farm but decided they look too cheap for their place.

    She rang me. I thought to wish me a Merry Christmas, thanks for the gift etc. Nope quite quickly she got around to ask me if I had forgotten their Christmas presi? Well I did hand them their gift personally. "Is that for both of us?". Talk about having to bite my tongue. I really had to restrain myself as it was Christmas etc. If I had said anything back I would really have let go. Even had the nerve to call me 'cheapskate'. I said nothing she talked for 10 mins and eventually put the phone down on me. She was angry with me.

    I have known them for some 12 years or so. Always been good company. But I am so peeved I have resolved NEVER to buy them anything again and to be honest the way I feel now I never want to see or speak to them again.

    Am I being too touchy? Never thought of myself as being cheapskate.



    Just kidding..........
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    Senior Member fat controller's Avatar
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    You are not losing a friend Frank - friends would not treat you like that! Better off without them, for sure, and I agree with Corbeliere - don't even bother having any sort of argument with them (much as I understand that you feel as though you would like to give them both barrels), just make that the last interaction you have with them.

    Some people are arseholes.
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    It wasn't me! A big boy done it and ran away.

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    Senior Member Victor's Avatar
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    They're having you for a mug Frank, ditch 'em.
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    Senior Member JimC64's Avatar
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    Ahhh ""Friends"" lol

    Lose them Frank, you've told me a couple of things and I'm sure I've already painted the rest of the picture for myself

    It's not about the gift received or to some degree what they may / may not have spent, but that said, it all goes into the pot along with thoughtful gestures / kind words and a sense of being there.

    Sounds to me like you've been headed up a one way street for far too long mate

    Jim
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  18. #10
    Senior Member frankc's Avatar
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    Sorry to say, in the nicest way, I have to agree to all you have said.

    A case of 'a friend in need etc'. When she was single and living alone I used to help her out with all sorts of stuff. Wiring, plumbing. Even treated her to a holiday when she was down in the dumps and sorted numerous and various problems out for her. Now she is married and 'well off' for want of a better phrase she has truly forgotten who her real friends are. Her kids and family no longer speak to her, now I can see why. My wife always said I am a bit naive and too easily see the best in people, even if its not there. In other words a mug.

    If I have to 'buy' their friendship then they are truly not friends. Decided now I am not going to contact them in anyway and when they get bitten, and they surely will, I wont help them out. Like a twit last time he lost his job I did what I could for them. As they are no longer friends they have lost that support.

    I am a great believer in Karma. What goes around comes around. I know Karma will bite them on their big behinds shortly.

    One good thing about this is I have been contemplating what I am going to do for my next birthday, February. Decided to have two parties. One for local friends and one for those further afield. So been 'sorting out numbers' and do you know something. When I count my true friends I can easily fill a table of 20 for the locals and the same for the distant ones. True friends. The sort if I break down at 2am I can give them a call and know they would come out to get me and things like that.

    Thanks for your support guys. Its put things in perspective.

    Footnote.

    The £100 I saved on not buying them the original present has gone to the local homeless charity as an anonymous donation. Helping someone hopefully like that wet and cold girl in the doorway I met.
    2003 Zircon Blue XKR Convertible.
    It's in the detail.
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    For a list of most topics written in this 'Story' Please click here.

    Cannot see any photos? PHOTOBUCKET FIX please CLICK HERE FOR SOLUTION

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