Ryan, i cant help with the pulsing number plate lights on rear, but what i can suggest is put your key into the igniton and turn to position 2 so dash lights are on. Keep your drivers door open and hit the lock button in on your door - it should re unlock, then go and try your boot unlock button on the boot. Report back. Your jag mechanic sounds like he does not like your car or he is seriously pee'd off and wants to take frustration out on your car! No need to rip them out, they unbolt from underneath the bottom seat cushion and pull upwards off the locking tabs, if its a fixed seat, not sure about folding - believe they unlock from inside the boot! Which that is not good.. but if its fixed then your met with a face full steel!
Ryan
Ryan