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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Captain Crappycrimp and I are now bravely venturing into the Motor Trade :eek:. We're establishing a startup Limited Company to restore sadly neglected older vehicles, bringing them back to life, and selling them on. Most of this grubby commercial activity will be in cheaper, Lesser, Cars, so of limited interest to this forum, and often even to us. (Astra, you say..? :rolleyes: Mind you, Cap'n C may occasionally use this thread to regale you all of his occasional non-Jag horror stories, for our entertainment and his spleen-venting purposes.) Sometimes, we make good use of his deep specific type knowledge of slightly more interesting cars. For example, he has a Saab specialism, and is now finishing a now very tidy 9-3 convertible, ready for what's left of the Summer Season. 馃槑 That work has recently taken priority over completing the XKR 'Ajax'.

At the higher (and slower) end of this refurbishment business, we've now decided to concentrate on the X100. Because They're Worth It. Here at the Mustard and Crappycrimp Home for Ageing X100s, no healthy XK is ever Parted Out. They are lovingly restored (in between cussing and swearing) and test driven on the Yorkshire Moors, before being released to their carefully vetted Forever Homes - if we can ever bear to part with any of them.

Alongside Ajax and XKVert, we now have a third one on the books, collected yesterday, which then came on a fly-by over here to Chateau Moutarde. This is named Immobile, for two reasons. The engine is in bits and also lacks a battery, and it was from the Coventry area, remaining where it was built, 21 years ago. We bought this, because, while likely needing a replacement gearbox for XKVert, we noticed you can get an entire dead XK8 for just a few quid more. How strange. And with Cap'n C's magic hands, assisted by his buddies, left and right hand men Diagnostic Dan, and his Tame Mechanic, Carl, there's a reasonable chance this can be brought back to life. So, here's hoping. The interior looks good, apart from sagging roof liner, and the bodywork is OK too.

So, this thread will cover our continuing X100 trials and tribulations, all done for fun, possibly modest commercial gain, and always in the best possible taste.

Here, (camera-shy) Cap'n C with shades, car dealer trilby and mask surveys the straps securing Immobile. This thing is heavy, such that it had snapped the winch cable on loading. More expense.
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And to complete the thread introduction / merge...

Ajax

Car Automotive parking light Vehicle Sky Cloud


XKVert

Automotive parking light Tire Wheel Vehicle registration plate Car
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Over the past three days, I demolished my small garden brick wall, moved the bricks into the back garden to later finish off a raised bed, moved earth and tarp / membrane about and pushed the gravel about with a yardbroom, to make a hardstand for the various cars that are now expected.

At least I feel I've now achieved something concrete... :D

Those 'Detroit' alloys really do set it off nicely. I don't particularly care that the gearbox is likely knackered, still pleased with it. Might just keep it there as a really nice garden ornament.

Car Wheel Vehicle Tire Window
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Might increase the value of the house!
Back around 1997, the house was actually worth about the same as the then new car - about 拢57k... That's about 拢100k in today's rapidly depreciating money. Perhaps the car will soon fetch 拢57k again, but a loaf of bread will be 拢45. :eek:
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Yesterday, we collected our fourth (and final, at least for now) X100. Named Shaguar, because, well, it certainly looks shagged, and an initial thought to deal with the truly awful finish was to apply a cheap Union Jack wrap on it, swapping out all the good interior for lesser quality items on others. Then keeping it awhile as a fun disposable runabout before parting out to support other current and future projects. But, upon closer inspection, we're now not going to do that. It's been dry stored, so the bodywork is quite good. It's suffering extensive lacquer peel, and the Captain knows exactly how to deal with that...

Tire Wheel Car Vehicle Hood


What we didn't realise at this point, was the car was positioned too far back, so the trailer handled poorly. The car has a flat battery, so couldn't be taken out of 'park'. While stopped in a suburban street scratching our heads, a nice lady with dogs walked past and very soon got talking about her boyfriend's E-Type. We had found a Jaguar fan! So we asked nicely and she very kindly lent us her car to jump start it. We were then able to adjust the position over CG for a safer and very long journey. The house number was noted and flowers and a box of chocolates are now on their way to 'The Nice Dog Lady'...
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
You're building a bit of a collection there Phil, Cap'n C isn't going to have to worry about finding something to do for a week or two :D

Regarding being stuck in park without battery power, there is an emergency release method. Remove the 'Torx' screw in the top left corner of the J gate and gently insert a screw driver or rod of some sort and press the solenoid plunger down to release the lock (y).
I'd be happy to pay XK8 engineering consultancy rates, (y)but Captain Crappycrimp, sat opposite me here in Company HQ, now has his nose put out of joint and is all envious. :sick:
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
That recent addition is the one that was on eBay - ha - no more competition!

I'm now the cheapest XK8 Convertible on there!!!

:giggle:

TMW
Indeed, TMW has been gamely trying to tempt me with Xavier's siren like call, and we are fairly closely located, too. The fact that it, or rather he, comes pre-named was a positive factor, but I really really must hold off now... The New Forest was a nice outing, only spoiled by dragging a trailer about.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Silly me.

In all the excitement of comparing Shaguar with XKVert this morning, I left the ignition turned on in XKVert. D'oh!! So it's very definitely a garden ornament now. The boot key barrel hidden in the XK8 logo won't work. So I guess it's open the bonnet and apply a Skoda defibrillator from there, to get to the battery via the cabin boot release, to then fully charge it. Later...
 

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Discussion Starter · #25 ·
And unfortunately I dont like Black ones and have refused to entertain any more XKs till one is finished.
I used to like black cars - until recently. The constant Sahara dust deposits on Behemoth are getting a bit tedious, mind.

Sold would be even better than Finished, but now there is the room for four, as a max working stock level.
 

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Discussion Starter · #29 ·
Then when faced with an XK which in every other way ticked all my boxes, and did look lovely, all clean and shiny, I kind of forgot all about my previous vows :rolleyes:.
I must confess to having questioned that decision once or twice after cleaning it ready to go somewhere, then having it look worse than when I'd started after a little shower of rain :mad:.
At least twice, everything has been left covered in a kind of sticky grey substance that has been quite hard to remove once dried on :mad::mad:.
Vows? Hmm. Completely understandable, now burdened with a harem of curvaceous seductive high maintenance temptresses.

I suppose the fine sand will fall early Saturday morning, after getting Behemoth all sparkly for Gaydon. Might get turned away at the gate otherwise - For shame, Sir!
 

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Discussion Starter · #33 ·
While I'm contemplating cleaning Behemoth this evening, for my jolly at Gaydon, my loyal serf Cap'n C has just sent me photos from the lockup, showing his robbing Shaguar of spark plugs and whatnot, to see if Immobile can be roused over at the garage, and saved from the dreaded Parting Out.

The tension mounts... He'll be back over here sometime to let us know how he got on.

Automotive lighting Automotive tire Interior design Wood Flooring


Hood Motor vehicle Automotive air manifold Automotive exterior Car


Table Desk Interior design Floor Wall
 

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Discussion Starter · #34 ·
The lockup was found and grabbed with both hands on Monday.
Prior to that, Cap'n C had done due diligence, surveying other sites around Scarborough. One even had a fancy awning.
"We're asking 拢30k a year for this..."
Cap'n C replied that she actually said that, while keeping a straight face! :rolleyes: End of that enquiry. :ROFLMAO:

This will be the storage area, along with light working and valeting, after vehicles have been through the garage for major work. This means that the operation will now be slick - able to 'multitask' across both sites - or what used to be called doing two things at the same time.
 

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Discussion Starter · #36 ·
We name all our cars, necessary for the multiple X100s, (and in time, Saabs) but also for the rest.

Kubelwagen (the BMW X5) and Happy Trails, the trailer, are on the Company fixed assets register (well, just a section of the spreadsheet).

Wheel Tire Car Vehicle Automotive tire


(The original Wehrmacht Kubelwagen - Bucket Wagon)

Dolphin - an Astra which has been delayed over a held up by Berxit imported GM part - so much for being a Flipper...

Memsaab - a 9-3 convertible - Saabs being a Cap'n C specialism. Nearly ready, transformed from a tatty MOT failure into a stunner.

And CU Jimmy - a Range Rover bought from Scotland, and named for us by a Scots friend. This one turned out to have some wee problems, aye... the seller was a con artist - usually Cap'n C spots 'em... He has nearly overcome all the issues and without spending too much (preserving the potential profit) to put everything right.

The car is basically sound. Runs well, supremely comfortable, The dodgy b*****d was hiding lots of faults, he claims to have changed the battery but it looks like he spiked the battery damaging the LED display and Park distance control Unit, he then b/s'd me that the binnacle just needed recoding to the new battery, I checked and this is a common thing. In reality he had then taken the instrument binnacle out and filled the warning lights with black silicone instead of 30 mins on a diagnostic machine which would have cleared all the lights with a simple reset. Sadly the LED display is still out but I have not given up hope and will do the suggested long battery disconnect when the garage opens again, as it might need a diagnostics reset again. He had pulled the the PDC control plug as it was emitting a constant scream through the speakers. Kubel, which shares many of the same parts, has donated her PDC and all is now functioning (Kubel needs new sensors). He had also pulled a fuse on the air suspension as it had gone faulty with the spike to the battery - I've replaced the fuse and turned the wheels lock to lock restored functionality.
Currently the only remaining faults are the LED on the instrument binnacle and the non functioning CD Player, I hope the long battery disconnect will sort both if not a new binnacle will be required (between 拢30 and 拢100 on ebay I will be going for the cheaper seen working version) and Kubel will donate its working CD unit. A quick rub down of the bottom wheel arch and flash over by blue spray can, and the same on two wheels this time in Silver and she's ready to go on DaughterTrader. Frankly it's a lucky escape - so far fingers crossed, but I'm still annoyed with myself for getting fooled.


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I know nothing about fixing cars... These photos strike fear into my heart, but the Captain is tackling the multiple problems systematically and is developing pragmatic solutions. OK, he was tricked that once, but recoveries like this are why he really does need to be working in the Motor Trade, to save the waste of all that talent.
Meanwhile, I'm slooowly learning the art of remotely assessing 'spares and repairs' cars on Ebay to spot potential projects to offer for the Captain's consideration.

Font Automotive tire Event Thigh Darkness
 

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Discussion Starter · #37 ·
Yesterday, we ordered four Revolvers from the internet.

Wheel Tire Automotive tire Automotive lighting Light


Was later thinking that our discussions on that, picked up by the ever inquisitive Alexa, the Crappycrimp House Spy, might set off all sorts of alerts. Maybe a surprise visit from those fine upstanding chaps of the local Tactical Firearms Squad.
 
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