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The Official Jokes Thread.

374K views 10K replies 92 participants last post by  OBC John 
#1 ·
Yes Yes i know there's already one going, for some reason i can't post on it so i assume its been closed??

So Ladies and Gents here's the new one!!!

I'll start..

In a trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses her head. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells,
"Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of *** in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well, I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a real woman??" For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman at the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up towards the rear.
"I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, well built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and he extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and says:
"Iron this."
 
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#8,216 ·
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Jim
 
#8,217 ·
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Jim
 
#8,220 ·
My New Years resolution was to give up performing stunts from western movies.

But I’ve already fallen off the wagon…..
 
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