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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So. I'm riding home last night, onboard temp is showing 3 degrees, I'm wearing my Dianese and heated vest, chilly it is, I'm on the A272 after having a bit of a blast from Farnham down the A31. It's late-ish because I've been helping a work colleage sort some stuff out.

And because we have consumed a few cups of rosy lee, quite a few, during the activities whilst chatting about his dog that he takes with him on every job, car's Lexus's, caravans and finally work, my bladder starts to suggest it might be time for a "refreshment stop". And I'm of an age now when once that thought enters my limited ability to process, it soon becomes one of the prime factors on my horizon. So I'm looking for somewhere to pull in, it's quite dark and the A272 doesn't have that many "rest stops" but I spot one that might do, and slow down, pull in.

And I always, always pull up in gear, then push the side stand down to kill the engine, then let the clutch out, then get off the bike so it won't roll away.
So as I roll in, I see an area that looks relatively flat, the ground looks good, I stop, put my right leg down and "fish" for the side stand. Because it has the Quickshifter installed, the side stand "tang" is tucked away and not easily located if I'm honest, but I find it, push the stand down, the engine stops, I lean the bike over to rest the side stand onto the floor.

And instead of stopping on the stand, the bike continues to come over as I'm apparently parked on top of a hole full of nothing substantial that will help the bike to stay upright.

At some point it becomes very clear to me I've reached, unfortunately, the point of no return and I (no doubt very gracefully) slo mo topple into a hedge/grass bank, probably a pile of cow dung for good measure, a badger set, last weks rubbish bags and as I stiill have the clutch in, presumably the bike finished it's excursion to earth by falling forward off the side stand as well... I didn't hear a crunch, I had my hat on...

Leaving me with my left foot trapped firmly under the fecking thing. I still need to pee...

So. I use my right leg to push the thing off my leg enough to get my foot out.

I stand up and start to take my gloves, hat, balaclava off, I test that I can stand ok, then I look at the bike, sat on it's side with indicator still lit and flashing merrily away, and realise my torch is in the top box, the top box is sat on it's side as well...

So I shrug. "Sort out the Important things first". Have my pee, then wrestle the keys out of the ignition to try and get the top box open. At which point a woman pulls in, asks me if I'm ok (Which I'm clearly not, I would think, judging by the language I was freely releasing to the world...) and then her rather large son gets out... talk about lucky, they are on the way to his swimming training somewhere. He's a big lad...

I should, in hindsight have taken the laptop out of the top box... Because trying to lift a VFR with a young kid who doesn't really know what to hold onto can never go too well. So I put him at the back, by the top box, showed him where the grab handle was, and I took the front end. Then my feet slipped again, then I got my knee under it, then we got it up... I wheeled it forward a bit, put the side stand down again, stepped back. Noticed my left ankle hurts a bit. Thanked them profusely obviously, the woman said she didn't realise bikes were so heavy, which was when I remembered the HP Elitebook in the top box with all it's cables... Oops..

So: What is damaged? My pride, the gear lever, the brake lever are obvious casualties. I think the Hand guards did a stirling job of protecting stuff, the mirror folded in (That was very lucky) my hands didn't get trapped, only my left leg. Boots seem to have taken the crush component very well. They are only "cheap" ones too. I have an injury on my leg that the top of the Daytona's rub on so I've been using these for a few days to help the scab to do it's bit. Sadly I don't heal quite so quickly these days.

Trying to ride a bike from that point with half a clutch lever, no gear change peg is novel. I had about 25 miles left to go to get home, so once I got it rolling and managed to hook my foot under it enough to get it to change up into 3rd, I left it there. Now I know they go very fast in 3rd. Allegedly.

Anyway. I have no idea where the clutch lever bit went, but I did manage to find the stub of the gear lever. The bike seems to be running fine, no oil leaks, steers ok, maybe my "Lucky" chip kicked in again to help me along in my journey of life?

Except I can't find anyone that stocks spare clutch levers... And my left ankle is a tad swelled. And I have to go to work. Luckily my big beautiful Jaguar XJ6 is an Automatic...
 

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Ouch, ouch, ouch.

I can't say there's a motorcyclist alive who hasn't done something similar.

Probably a good job you'd finished the urgent job in the lay-by before the woman turned up.
 

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Ouch, the bike must have gone down with a real thump to break the clutch lever but i had a similar experience a few years ago and driving with a broken clutch lever was funny to say the least. However glad to hear that you are not badly damaged and will heal in time.
Take care.

Roger
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Bet I could still fall off this...

 
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